


in the arms of the ocean

by allyasavedtheday



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Episode: s03e03 The Searchers, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyasavedtheday/pseuds/allyasavedtheday
Summary: “Someone wanted to come say hi before we head home,” Eddie says, voice a little gravelly around the edges, and Buck can only imagine how worn out he must be by now. He has no idea what Eddie faced today but he can’t imagine it’s been much easier than anything Buck endured.Buck opens his mouth to say something but no words come out. Instead he just stares in awe as Eddie picks Chris up under his arms and deposits him onto the cot on Buck’s right side. Buck scrambles to put an arm around him to hold him in place but it’s not really necessary when Christopher immediately curls into him anyway. He tucks his face into the crook of Buck’s neck and mumbles out a tired but relieved, “You’re okay.”All the breath in Buck’s body rushes out of him at once at that and he wraps both arms around Christopher, pressing a kiss to the matted hair at the top of his head. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, voice hitching around the lump in his throat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you, buddy.”*After the tsunami, Eddie takes Buck home.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 630





	in the arms of the ocean

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i don't go here but i binge-watched 911 like two weeks ago and the tsunami episodes elicited such a visceral reaction in me that could only be resolved by writing almost 7k of pure, unadulterated hurt/comfort. so am i like two years late with this fic? yes. am i hoping people still want to read this anyway? also yes.
> 
> title: Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine

Buck stares at his hands while he lies in wait in the hospital cot. The makeshift triage they’ve set up at the VA hospital is a flurry of activity around him. Nurses, doctors and any medics that can be spared are rushing back and forth, checking patients, bringing new people in and wheeling others out. An idle thought passes his mind that he should be helping, that he should get out of bed and do something. But his leg feels like it’s on fire and he’s only just starting to regain the feeling in his fingers.

He thinks he’s probably done for the day.

He casts a glance around the room for the nurse who’d checked him over after Chim and Hen had been called away again but there are too many people and he’s too tired to scan the room properly.

That doesn’t stop him from completely stilling when his eyes land on two figures he’d recognise from a mile away.

Slowly making their way towards him are Eddie and Christopher. Eddie’s holding both of Chris’ hands while he walks behind him and Buck spares a thought for the crutches he’d left abandoned on the pier.

Eddie looks exhausted but it’s better than how he could’ve looked – how he’d started to look when Buck had tried to tell him what happened. Christopher is mostly focused on his feet as he walks but he looks up and beams at Buck as they reach his bedside and Buck’s eyes burn hot with unshed tears.

“Someone wanted to come say hi before we head home,” Eddie says, voice a little gravelly around the edges, and Buck can only imagine how worn out he must be by now. He has no idea what Eddie faced today but he can’t imagine it’s been much easier than anything Buck endured.

Buck opens his mouth to say something but no words come out. Instead he just stares in awe as Eddie picks Chris up under his arms and deposits him onto the cot on Buck’s right side. Buck scrambles to put an arm around him to hold him in place but it’s not really necessary when Christopher immediately curls into him anyway. He tucks his face into the crook of Buck’s neck and mumbles out a tired but relieved, “You’re okay.”

All the breath in Buck’s body rushes out of him at once at that and he wraps both arms around Christopher, pressing a kiss to the matted hair at the top of his head. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, voice hitching around the lump in his throat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you, buddy.”

Christopher leans back, fingers twisting in the front of Buck’s t-shirt. “You saved me,” he says like it’s obvious. “And now we’re both okay.”

Buck gapes at him, feeling completely dumbfounded at how this kid can still be so unerringly optimistic after everything he’s just experienced. The blanket shifts and Buck looks away from Christopher long enough to see Eddie perching on the other side of the cot, thigh pressed against Buck’s knee and taking up the minuscule space on the mattress. And there’s nothing in his eyes – no anger or resentment or blame, just something a little quiet that Buck can’t quite parse. Eddie’s gaze shifts to Christopher and his expression softens into a smile when Christopher folds himself against Buck’s side again. Buck rubs his back, drinks him in – safe and whole – for one last moment before he decides to face Eddie properly.

“Eddie,” he starts, broken and beseeching. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“Hey,” Eddie cuts him off quietly, hand pressing over Buck’s knee and squeezing lightly. “He’s safe. You’re safe. That’s enough, Buck.”

“It _can’t_ be-“ Buck starts and he knows the tears are threatening to spill over now, knows he won’t make it much longer but Eddie just shakes his head.

“It is,” he promises.

Buck wants to say more, wants to argue back, but just then the nurse he’d been looking for earlier comes back, eyes on a chart. She pulls up short when she notices Eddie and Christopher, pausing at the end of Buck’s cot.

“Are you Mr Buckley’s family?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Eddie says before Buck can correct her. He stands up and Buck tries not to feel the loss of his hand on his knee. “We’ll get out of your hair.”

“Actually,” the nurse says. “I was coming here to say you’re free to go.” She directs the last part to Buck but Eddie’s the one who answers her.

“He’s okay? You know he’s on blood thinners and his leg-“

“We know,” she assures him and Buck almost thinks he sees faint amusement in her expression. “But none of his wounds are bleeding anymore and while he’ll definitely be feeling some strain in his leg over the next few days, there doesn’t seem to be any damage. The IV’s helping with the dehydration and everything else seems superficial thankfully.”

Buck had more or less guessed as much when Chimney and Hen had checked him over. He thinks it would’ve been a lot harder to get rid of them if he’d had something seriously wrong with him.

“Like I said, everything looks clear,” she continues, “but if you experience any profuse bleeding or the pain in your leg gets worse-“

“I’ll call my doctor,” Buck promises with a resigned sigh. Honestly, now that he knows he can leave all he wants to do is go home to his bed. He’ll deal with everything else in the morning.

“I’m a medic,” Eddie’s saying then, pulling Buck’s attention back to him. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

The nurse smiles her thanks and Eddie quickly moves to lift Christopher – who’s somehow managed to drift off against Buck’s side in all the commotion – into his arms so the nurse can remove the IV from Buck’s arm.

She pats Buck’s shoulder when she’s done, telling him to take care of himself and then she’s moving onto her next patient. Buck watches her go, feeling mildly dazed when he looks back to Eddie who’s still waiting expectantly at his bedside.

He shifts Chris in his arms and nods in the general direction of the exit. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

He considers trying to fight him on it, considers telling him he can call Maddie, but Buck’s not sure he has any fight left in him so he nods. Eddie puts a hand between his shoulder blades when he stands and, for just a second, Buck’s head feels a little less heavy.

*

Buck dozes in the car. He doesn’t mean to but sleep is clawing at the edges of his mind – he supposes a natural disaster and the mother of all adrenaline crashes will do that. It’s why he doesn’t realise they’re not actually driving to his apartment until Eddie stops the car.

He blinks when the engine cuts off, straightening in his seat and squinting out the window to see the familiar glow of Eddie’s porch light.

He turns to Eddie, a question on his lips. “We’re not-…?”

“I’m not letting spend the night in your apartment alone,” Eddie says, voice low so as not to wake Christopher in the back seat. “Besides I told that nurse I’d keep an eye on you.” His smile is too tired to be playful but Buck thinks at another time it would be. Eddie pulls the keys out of the ignition and passes them over. “You get the door; I’ll get Chris.”

Buck gets out of the car on unsteady legs, clutching Eddie’s keys between his fingers, and watches from the sidewalk while Eddie rounds the car and carefully removes Christopher from his booster seat. Once he’s locked the car he follows Eddie up the path, stepping around him to put the key in the front door.

The relief he feels stepping into Eddie’s house very nearly brings him to his knees and he has to swallow down the emotion suddenly making his throat feel tight as he hovers in the hallway.

“Hey,” Eddie whispers, forcing Buck out of his head and making him focus again. “I’m gonna put Christopher to bed. You can take the shower first, there’s sweats in the top drawer of my dresser.”

“Eddie, you don’t have to-“ Buck starts to protest, not even sure why really. He just can’t let himself be more of a burden right now than he already feels he is.

“Buck, you’re not lying on my sheets dressed like that,” Eddie teases before his expression softens. “Wash the day off.”

Buck nods, ignores the way his heart clenches when Eddie smiles at him and tries not to stare too long after Eddie’s back when he carries Christopher down the hallway to his bedroom.

The thought of anymore water after the day he’s had is mildly nauseating but as soon as he’s under the spray something comes over him and he can’t help scrubbing a little harder at his skin, as if washing away the dirt and the grime and the dried blood will somehow erase everything that’s happened.

He looks in the mirror when he climbs out and the haunted expression on his face would scare him if it weren’t exactly how he felt. He shakes the thought away, focusing instead on cataloguing his injuries. He’s got scratches across his face and down his arms but they’re not that deep. The bruises blooming over his chest and sides are stark in the fluorescent light of the bathroom but he tells himself it’s just because of the blood thinners.

He takes in his bloodshot eyes and his damp hair curling over his forehead and for a moment he feels the way he did at ten, at fourteen, at twenty running headlong into danger just so someone would worry about him. Just so someone would care. Now Eddie’s offering all that care, no strings attached, and Buck doesn’t know what to do with it.

He pulls on the clothes he’d borrowed from the dresser when he can’t bear to look at himself anymore and only feels a little ridiculous at how quickly his mind settles once he’s surrounded by the scent of Eddie’s detergent. Padding back out to the hallway, he spies Eddie sitting on Christopher’s bed through the half-open door so he moves to Eddie’s room to wait.

He’s perching on the edge of the bed when Eddie comes in a few minutes later and tries for a tremulous smile when Eddie looks him over.

“You look better,” Eddie says, moving past the bed once he seems to have looked his fill and going to the same drawer Buck had rifled through earlier. “I’m gonna shower real quick. Here, call Maddie if you want.”

Buck looks down at where Eddie’s tossed his phone onto the mattress beside him, remembering absently that he’ll have to order a new one for himself tomorrow. Eddie’s voice makes him look up again.

“I’ll be ten minutes. Take whatever you want from the kitchen. I don’t know when the last time you ate was…” Inexplicably, he almost looks guilty when he says it and Buck frowns at him in confusion. Out of the two of them, Eddie is not the one who needs to show remorse right now. Besides, it’s long past midnight; Buck can’t even think of eating right now.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbles. “Thanks though.”

Eddie nods, eyes roaming over Buck’s face like he’s looking for something before he nods again – to himself this time, it seems – and turns to head for the bathroom.

Buck dials Maddie’s number when he hears the bathroom door close and stands up to pace around the room while he waits for her to answer. She picks up on the fourth ring.

“Eddie! Have you-“

“It’s Buck,” he interrupts her and he can hear her sharp exhale on the other end of the line.

“ _Evan_ ,” she sighs, voice filled with relief. “Are you okay? Is Christopher…?”

“He’s fine,” Buck says, still not quite believing it himself. “Some other survivors found him and brought him to the VA hospital. He showed up just as I was telling Eddie what happened.”

“Thank god,” Maddie breathes. “You didn’t answer my first question though. Are you okay?”

“I’m…” He trails off, trying to think of the right words. He’s not sure he has an answer right now, isn’t sure he’s even started processing the day yet. “I’m okay,” he says finally. “I’m gonna crash at Eddie’s tonight.”

“Good,” Maddie replies. “I’ve still got another hour of my shift. I didn’t want you to be alone tonight.”

“I’m not,” Buck whispers, marvelling at the thought that that’s true. He isn’t alone. Christopher’s down the hall, Eddie’ll be back in the room any minute. “I’ll come by and see you tomorrow. You should go see Chim. He probably needs you tonight too.”

“I think we all need someone tonight,” Maddie laughs but it’s the kind of laugh she does when she’s trying not to cry. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?”

Buck nods before he remembers she can’t see him. “Just call Eddie’s phone if you need me. Love you, Mads.”

“Love you too.” She says it softly and he knows those words are still hard for her to say sometimes. “Get some sleep.”

Buck feels lighter hanging up the phone. He’s setting it down on the bedside table when Eddie comes back into the room, dressed in sweats and an old LAFD t-shirt as he scrubs a towel over his head.

“You get through to Maddie?” he asks, tossing the towel on top of the wash hamper in the corner of the room.

“Yeah, she’s okay,” Buck says. “She’s still got a bit longer of her shift.”

Eddie nods, eyes lingering on Buck in a way that makes the hair stand up on the back of his neck before he turns to the bed. “Well, I think we’re probably long overdue eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Come on.”

He knows Eddie had implied it earlier with the sheets comment but Buck still jolts when Eddie goes to pull back the covers.

“Eddie, I can take the couch.”

Eddie sighs before he’s even halfway finished his sentence. “You just survived a natural disaster. No you can’t, Buck. Get in.”

Buck does as he’s told, carefully climbing onto the mattress and pulling the half of the blanket Eddie offers him up over his chest. Eddie shuts off the lamp when they’re both settled and the darkness admittedly makes it easier, even if Buck is still hyper aware of Eddie’s body only a few inches away from his own.

The problem is though, with the darkness, with the possibility of actually stopping for the first time all day, everything that’s happened finally comes crashing down on top of him. He sucks in a breath, closing his eyes against the burn of tears that have been hovering all day and clenching his fingers into fists.

He _lost_ Christopher.

How the fuck could he do that? How could he be so reckless? He’d told Eddie they were going to the movies – why the fuck hadn’t he taken him to the movies? Why did he have to-

“Buck.”

Eddie’s voice cuts through his barraging thoughts and Buck bites the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep himself steady so he can say what he wants to say.

“Eddie,” he says, voice wrecked – from swallowing back cries, from screaming Christopher’s name all day, from inhaling too much water, from all of it. “I’m so sorry. I’m so-“

He doesn’t get any further before a sob cuts him off. It takes him a second to realise it’s coming from his own throat but by then it’s too late. He can’t stop himself, can’t keep it in anymore. He curls in on himself, tries to stifle the way the sobs wrack his body so hard it feels like the bed is shaking but then Eddie’s hands are tugging on his wrists, urging Buck onto his side to face him.

“Buck. Buck.” His voice is quiet but steady as he gently forces Buck to unravel. Once he’s managed to pry Buck’s arms away from his chest he pulls him closer and Buck is too fucking tired that no amount of self-loathing could make him deny himself what Eddie’s offering. He lets Eddie reel him in, rearranges his arms to cling to Eddie’s t-shirt while his knees knock against Eddie’s under the covers.

“Listen to me,” Eddie murmurs, fingers threading through the hair at the back of Buck’s head. “Listen. Buck, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s not, Eddie. I _lost_ him. I-” Buck shakes his head against Eddie’s chest, heart lurching in his ribcage.

Eddie uses the hand on the back of his head to move him, pushing Buck to look up until their foreheads are pressed together. Buck can’t make him out in the dark but he can feel Eddie’s eyes on him regardless.

“It is,” he insists. “He’s alive; you’re alive. He’s safe; you’re safe. I’m pretty sure that’s all I can ask for right now.”

“But-“

“No buts,” Eddie says, strong hand curving around the hinge of Buck’s jaw. “We can talk in the morning if you want but I don’t blame you and nothing you can say will make me. Just go to sleep, Buck. We’re okay. I promise we’re okay.”

Buck inhales a shaky breath, too drained to speak. He shifts in Eddie’s arms then, pushing down the bed and back into his earlier position with his head tucked under Eddie’s chin and his face against Eddie’s chest. Eddie’s arms sweep over his back, present and real and so, so comforting. And just as Buck finally starts to let sleep pull him under he feels Eddie’s lips press against the crown of his head.

They’ll talk in the morning.

* * *

Eddie wakes up in the morning with his chest pressed to Buck’s back. Their arms are overlapping across Buck’s chest and Eddie holds still for a moment, just to feel the way his own hand slowly rises and falls with Buck’s breathing.

God, yesterday was a lot.

He thinks the part that’s most crushing is the realisation that he hadn’t even known Buck and Christopher were in any danger. He’d just assumed they were at the movies or back in Buck’s apartment and that he’d get to go home to them at the end of the day and find them waiting for him. Instead they’d spent the whole day fighting for their lives and he hadn’t even _known_.

He knows it’s useless to think now about what he would’ve done differently if he’d found out sooner, understands it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference to anything. But he can’t help feeling like if he’d known they were out there – if the team had known – then they could’ve found Buck and Christopher earlier. When they were still on top of the fire truck. Before his son was left alone and Buck nearly killed himself trying to find him.

He’s not angry – well, he is, but at the situation; not at Buck. He can’t be when he remembers the look on Buck’s face as he’d tried to tell him what happened, when he remembers how Buck had stared in complete disbelief at Christopher in Eddie’s arms before he’d collapsed like the fight had finally gone out of him knowing Christopher was safe.

Eddie knows Buck loves Christopher, has always appreciated his best friend’s patience with his kid, but he thinks he only realised yesterday just how deep that love ran. Buck had cradled Christopher against him like he was his own and Eddie’s heart had beat faster at the sight.

Slowly, Eddie extricates his arm from around Buck’s waist to roll over and check the time on his alarm clock. 8am. Not as much sleep as he needs given it was nearing 2am when he’d finally crawled into bed last night but at least Christopher’s slept in.

He turns back on his side to face Buck, considers cuddling close to him again but he feels too self-conscious now that he’s slipped out of Buck’s warmth. So he leaves a few inches of space between them and runs a hand down Buck’s back instead, carefully smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt. The bruise jutting out from beneath the sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt makes him frown so he pulls the covers up further over both of them, reminding himself to check Buck over properly later on.

His hand is making its second journey down the expanse of Buck’s back when his bedroom door clicks open and Eddie raises his head just enough to see Christopher peeking his head inside.

“Morning, mijo,” he whispers, smiling and feeling more than a little relieved when Christopher grins back. “D’you wanna come in?”

Christopher nods his head, using the door to balance himself as he comes into the room before closing it behind him and making his way to the bed. Eddie lets go of Buck and sits up, leaning forward and holding his arms out to Christopher. He picks him up, lifting him over Buck’s sleeping form so he can take up the spot between them on the mattress.

Christopher cuddles into him once they’re settled, head dropping against Eddie’s chest when Eddie’s arm comes around him. “Did you sleep okay?” he asks quietly. “Any nightmares?”

“I think I was too tired for nightmares,” Christopher says, voice still half-tinged with sleep and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief.

“That’s good,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head.

“Did Buck come home with us last night?” Christopher asks then and Eddie nods.

“I told the nurse we’d make sure he was okay.”

Christopher turns to look at Buck and Eddie watches him reach out to gently pat Buck’s shoulder. “That’s a good idea,” Christopher whispers and Eddie honestly doesn’t know how his son manages to hold so much love in such a small body. “Can we wake him?” he asks, turning back to Eddie.

“Later,” Eddie promises, tapping Christopher’s chin with his thumb. “Yesterday was pretty hard for him. Let him sleep a bit longer.”

Chris accepts his answer with a nod, seemingly content to just stay curled up in Eddie’s arms for now. And Eddie absolutely relishes in it – not least of all because he’s feeling clingy after yesterday. Christopher’s always been tactile and he’s still affectionate but Eddie’s already afraid of him getting older and these cuddles becoming few and far between.

It’s only been a few minutes when Buck begins to stir. His breathing deepens for a beat and Eddie watches him burrow deeper under the covers before he turns over, shifting onto his opposite side to face them. He cracks an eye open and Eddie’s breath stutters in his chest at the way Buck’s entire expression melts into something tender when his gaze lands on Christopher.

“Morning, Buck,” Christopher greets happily, though he at least manages to keep his voice down.

“Morning, buddy,” Buck replies softly, voice hoarse from sleep. “Did you sleep okay?”

Christopher nods. “I was too tired for nightmares,” he informs him solemnly and Eddie doesn’t miss the way Buck’s expression falls slightly even as he huffs a laugh.

“Me too,” Buck says, reaching out to pat Christopher’s chest before letting his hand rest there. Eddie probably wouldn’t realise what he’s doing if he hadn’t done the exact same thing last night when he’d put Chris to bed. Feeling his breathing, reminding himself he’s alive and whole and safe.

Whether Christopher gets it or not, Eddie doesn’t know, but he covers Buck’s hand with his own anyway. Eddie feels the corners of his mouth lift at the sight before he shifts his gaze to Buck. Buck’s looking at Christopher but he raises his gaze up when he must feel Eddie’s eyes on him. Eddie gives him a quiet smile, moving the arm he’d had around Christopher to gently press his knuckles against Buck’s chest.

Buck’s answering smile is weak but it’s real so Eddie takes it as a win.

Eddie’s not sure how long they lie there, none of them speaking but instead content to just accept the comfort of each other’s presence. Eventually though, he starts thinking about breakfast. Christopher’s definitely more subdued this morning – either because of the exhaustion or because he’s feeling clingy or both – but Eddie knows he’ll start asking about food soon. And Eddie…really isn’t ready to get out of bed yet. So he decides a pre-emptive strike is probably best.

“Hey, Chris. How about we have breakfast in bed today, huh?”

Christopher blinks up at him before his face splits into a grin. “Yeah.”

“Okay, you stay here and keep Buck company, alright?” Eddie reluctantly lets go of his son, already not looking forward to getting out of bed even if he knows it’s only for a few minutes. “I’ll make us something.”

Buck watches him as he climbs out of the bed, mouth half-open as if he’s considering protesting or offering to help but when Chris snuggles into him as soon as Eddie’s standing up Buck seems to forget whatever he was going to say. He stares dumbly down at Chris for a second before folding an arm over him and closing his eyes.

Eddie squeezes his shoulder when he rounds the bed and then heads for the kitchen.

His culinary skills aren’t wide reaching at the best of times but today he’s really going for speed over substance. He wrangles together six slices of toast, depositing two slices onto each of their respective plates. He slathers Christopher’s toast in Nutella, figures if there was ever a day his kid deserved chocolate for breakfast it’s today, and opts for basic butter from him and Buck. He adds two cups of coffee and a plastic cup of orange juice before surveying his work. It’s not exactly the breakfast of champions but it’ll do.

He carries the tray into the bedroom, pausing in the doorway for just a moment to watch the slow smile Christopher drags out of Buck as they talk quietly, Christopher still in the circle of Buck’s arms. They notice him then and the moment is broken with Buck letting go of Christopher to sit up. He rearranges the pillows while Christopher wriggles into a sitting position so he has something to lean against and Eddie gently shoves the door closed with his foot before making his way to the bed. He sets the tray on Christopher’s lap; it’s one he’d gotten for Christopher when he’d come down with the flu a while back – it has little legs at the four corners so it can balance on its own without any worry of Christopher’s knees knocking it over. It’s been something of a godsend.

“We’re gonna get crumbs in your bed,” Christopher informs him as Eddie climbs back under the covers and he huffs out a laugh.

“It’s okay,” he assures, sharing a sidelong glance with Buck over Christopher’s head. “I’ll clean it up later.”

Christopher isn’t even listening to him, already digging into his food and smearing chocolate across his face in the process. Buck smiles at him though – more tentative than usual but his eyes look a little lighter than they had when he first woke up – and picks up his own slice. They eat mostly in silence but it’s a content kind of quiet and Eddie can’t help feeling like in another world this could actually be their life. Sleeping in late – well, later than normal – and eating breakfast in bed with his boys.

The way his heart jumps at the thought surprises him if only for the fact these kinds of thoughts have been slowly but surely creeping into his consciousness more and more recently. He hasn’t afforded himself much time to think about what it means or what he even wants from it all but he can’t find it in himself to worry about it either. Not when this just feels so _easy_.

And, truthfully, it’s not easy because Eddie knows the reality of what happened yesterday is still hanging heavy over their heads but the decisions behind it all – asking Buck to come home with him, having Buck wear his clothes, sharing his bed with Buck – are some of the easiest Eddie’s ever made in his life. He couldn’t imagine any other way to be spending the morning.

When Christopher finishes his food Eddie decides it’s probably time to tackle bath time. He hadn’t had the heart to wake him up last night to make him take a shower, had just carefully changed him into his pyjamas and tucked him in, but he knows he can’t put it off any longer. The scent of salt water still clings to Christopher’s skin and his curls are matted at the top of his head. He’s not sure how Christopher will react to the idea of being in the water again but surprisingly, other than a brief pout that only lasts as long as Buck saying, “What did you tell me about complaining yesterday?” he gets out of bed with hardly any fuss.

Eddie lingers in the doorway once he’s sent Christopher off to get a change of clothes from his room. “What did he say about complaining?”

Buck exhales, shaking his head fondly. “I asked him how he always managed to stay so positive and he told me he tried complaining once and it didn’t work.”

Eddie laughs, feeling an intense love for his son swell up in his chest. He really has the best fucking kid. He watches Christopher amble into the bathroom then and turns back to Buck. “Why don’t you try and catch a couple more hours of sleep while I get him cleaned up?”

Buck’s expression blanks out with surprise and Eddie wants nothing more than to cross the room and pull him into his arms when he sees the vulnerability behind his eyes. But Buck seems to rein in whatever he’s feeling because he nods after a beat. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Okay. Thanks.”

Eddie flashes him a smile and goes to help Christopher in the bathroom.

* * *

Buck wakes up to the feel of a familiar hand on his shoulder. When he blinks his eyes open he finds Eddie sitting on the edge of the bed, hand squeezing his shoulder lightly.

“Hey. It’s noon,” he whispers before Buck can ask. “I didn’t wanna mess up your sleep schedule by letting you sleep too late.”

Buck nods, scrubbing at his eyes and pushing himself up into a sitting position. “Thanks.” Sitting up puts him much closer to Eddie than he’d intended and he swallows hard when their eyes lock. Eddie’s hand is still on his shoulder, thumb brushing the spot where the collar of his t-shirt meets his neck.

“Where’s Christopher?” he asks in a vain attempt to distract himself from just how little space exists between them right now.

“On the couch, queueing up a movie. Wanna join us?”

And Buck has definitely overstayed his welcome by now but he just. He can’t make himself leave. Isn’t ready to face the real world again just yet.

“Sure.”

Eddie beams at him, pats his shoulder and stands up. He waits for Buck before he leaves the room though.

Sure enough Christopher is sitting in the middle of the couch when they come out to the living room, TV remote in hand and what Buck recognises as Finding Nemo paused on the screen. It makes his chest ache and the wind is almost knocked out of him when Christopher looks over and gives him a knowing grin. Buck knows his eyes are watering but he forces himself to smile and throw a wink in Christopher’s direction.

Eddie looks between them but doesn’t ask, just touches the small of Buck’s back as he passes and moves to flop down on the couch on the far side of Christopher. Buck takes the spot between Chris and the arm of the couch and pointedly doesn’t react when Eddie stretches his arm across the back of the couch so his fingertips graze the nape of Buck’s neck.

*

They’re only half an hour into the movie when Christopher slouches against Buck’s side, eyes drooping while Eddie massages his calves where his legs are thrown over Eddie’s lap. Buck recognises the movements as something Eddie does after Chris’ physical therapy sessions. There’d been a few times when Buck had been at his lowest after his injury where Eddie had dragged him along to Christopher’s PT sessions and then brought Christopher along to Buck’s because, “Chris is a pro at this stuff. He’ll teach you how to do it right, isn’t that right, buddy?”

Buck had felt suitably chastised for acting like a baby and even more in awe of how much Christopher takes in his stride.

Marlon and Dory have just met the vegetarian sharks when Christopher seems to well and truly conk out. Eddie smiles down at him, slipping out from beneath Christopher’s legs to stand up. “I’m gonna put him back to bed for a little while so he can nap. No way that kid got enough sleep last night even if he did manage to stay in bed ‘til eight.”

He says it affectionately but Buck still feels a pang of guilt at his words. Eddie lifts Christopher into his arms and Buck figures _okay, now he really has to go_ but Eddie must see something in his expression because he pauses just as he’s about to bring Christopher down the hall.

“I know you probably want to see Maddie,” he says, sounding the most unsure he has in the last twenty-four hours. “Or get home to your own bed or whatever. But…don’t leave just because you think I want you to go. ‘Cause I don’t.”

Buck inhales a sharp breath, staring at Eddie and finding nothing but sincerity in his expression. When he finally remembers how to talk he nods. “I’ll stay.”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth lift, just a little, and he bobs his head. “I’ll be right back.”

Buck feels jittery while he waits for Eddie to come back. Partly because the last time they were alone for an extended period of time Buck was sobbing in his arms under Eddie’s covers and partly because he remembers what Eddie had said last night.

_We can talk in the morning._

Buck’s not sure if he’s ready to talk about it yet.

Eddie is only gone a minute or two and nothing in his expression suggests he’s even thinking about what he’d said last night as he drops down onto the couch again. Closer to Buck this time, occupying the space Christopher had claimed earlier so they’re almost touching but not quite. He turns off the movie but leaves the TV on; Buck doesn’t look to see what channel he chooses but it sounds like classic daytime TV so he doesn’t think he has to worry about hearing the news unexpectedly. He’s definitely not ready to see the carnage from yesterday played out on screen.

“Christopher’s legs okay?” he asks when Eddie doesn’t make a move to speak.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Eddie says, waving a hand. “He just mentioned in the shower that they were cramping a little. Too much over-exertion yesterday.”

An apology is on the tip of Buck’s tongue but he very promptly chokes on it when Eddie reaches over to pull Buck’s leg into his lap. “What about _your_ leg, huh? Pretty sure when the doctor said light physical activity he didn’t mean swimming through a tsunami.”

Buck gapes at him, feeling completely at a loss for words, but then Eddie’s thumb slowly starts pressing against the underside of his calf right along one of his scars – and he really would love to know how Eddie knows exactly where to touch when his pant leg is blocking the view – and he forces himself to speak. “It’s a little sore,” he croaks.

Eddie gives him a look. “Okay, so in Buck speak that means it actually really hurts but you don’t wanna complain, right?”

Buck doesn’t know whether to be offended or…well, whether to melt at the fact that Eddie knows him so well so instead he scoffs and twists his body into a more comfortable position, sideways with his shoulder pressed into the back of the couch so his leg can rest more easily in Eddie’s lap. “Whatever,” he mutters.

Eddie smirks like he’s won something and gently rolls up the bottom of his sweatpants to get a look at his shin. “It’s not swollen, at least.”

Buck nods absently, slouching down a little so he can rest the side of his head against the couch cushion. He intends on watching Eddie’s hands on his leg but he finds himself just looking at Eddie’s face instead. Eddie either doesn’t notice or decides not to comment.

“Christopher told me what happened, you know,” Eddie says after a few minutes. His hands don’t falter on Buck’s leg even as Buck feels himself jerk with a flinch. “His concept of time yesterday was a little all over the place but I think he’s given me a rundown of most of the day.”

Eddie’s hands still over his shin and he turns his head to meet Buck’s eyes. “He said you threw him over your shoulder when you saw the wave coming and started running. He told me how you hid him in one of the stalls and covered him with your body but the wave separated you. How you managed to find him anyway and get him on top of the fire truck. How he watched you save all those people.”

Eddie’s voice hitches and Buck feels his own eyes fill with tears in response.

“How you played ‘I Spy’ for _hours_ -“ Eddie lets out a watery laugh, shaking his head. “At least how he remembers it.”

“What about after?” Buck asks nervously, not sure he even wants an answer.

Eddie shrugs, glancing down at Buck’s leg again and avoiding his eyes. “Like I said, time was a little messed up for him but he said when the next wave knocked him into the water he tried to swim with the current until he could find something to hold onto. I think that woman and the people she was with found him pretty quick. It doesn’t sound like he was on his own for long.”

Buck sucks in a breath, closing his eyes. That was the part he’d been most worried about – that Christopher had been wandering around alone and scared for hours before someone found him. Buck can only hope he remembers it right.

“Buck.” Eddie squeezes his leg and when Buck opens his eyes Eddie’s face is a lot closer than it had been a minute ago. He’s leaning against the couch cushion now too, turned just enough to face Buck better and Buck has a vague thought in the back of his head that it’d take nothing at all to close the distance between them but now’s not the time for that.

“Thank you,” Eddie says. And it’s so- it’s so fucking sincere Buck can’t help the way his tears spill over, can’t help the tiny gasp that escapes his mouth.

“I know you blame yourself,” he continues, voice quiet but urgent. “And I get it but Buck, you _saved_ him. It’s how he sees it and how he tells it and I believe him.”

Buck lets out a shaky breath and does move to close the distance between them but it’s just enough so that he can press his forehead against Eddie’s. It feels different doing this in the light of day but also altogether entirely the same as it had last night. Eddie doesn’t pull away, regardless, and Buck needs a moment to pull strength from Eddie’s touch, to find the words to even say what he wants to say.

“I love him, Eddie,” he says finally, opening his eyes. “I would’ve done anything to keep him safe.”

“I know,” Eddie whispers, hand finally lifting from Buck’s leg to fit to the side of his neck, thumb resting just over Buck’s pulse point.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs then because he needs to say it. He’s not even sure which way he’s saying it right now but he knows he needs Eddie to know. Needs Eddie to believe that he and Christopher are the most important people in his life and Buck would sooner die than have anything happen to either of them.

“I know that too,” Eddie replies quietly and Buck wants to ask him if _he_ knows what way Buck means it. Because he always seems to understand Buck better than he understands himself but he doesn’t get a chance to. Eddie taps his thumb against Buck’s pulse point once more, pulls him more firmly into his arms and breathes his own, “I love you,” against the skin of Buck’s temple.

It’s an answer in itself.

*

**Author's Note:**

> ok ok i know there was no real kiss in here and tbh i could've shoehorned it in but it just didn't feel right!!! they weren't ready!!! i wasn't ready!!! so let's just say this is the beginning of the beginning lmao
> 
> anyway, i hope you liked it! i'm over at [littlespooneven](https://littlespooneven.tumblr.com/) on tumblr (and starting to post a little more 911) if you're curious :')


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